a crush

[The Nightmare]

I need help....I'm too embarrassed to ask, but I'm sure all you think I shouldn't be, so I'll just come out and say it.......I have a crush on a girl at my school, and I can't get up the nerve to talk to her, but that's not the only problem....I'm afraid that if I just randomly go up and talk to her, she'll catch on right away and just think I'm wierd......in a bad way...and it's not like I've ever talked to her before, which is why I think that, and she isn't in any of my classes either. WHAT DO I DO!?!?

[Psi]

Ah, a young on finds themselves stricken by infatuation, severely prominent in the school years. Few different things can happen, and a few things can be changed depending on whether or not certain things are met.

If its a big school, give up. If its a small school, give it a try.

If you kinda have already talked to her before, and had an alright conversation, that ended well, try more of those until you become friends, and then ask. If you haven't casually start on up when the chance presents itself.

If you kinda have already talked to her before / or have on many occasions, and it is a big school, give it a try.

If you think your outside of school activities match, give it a try (ex, you both like to spend time away from home, or go to movies often or so on)

If you think she would think you are weird, then soften her up by being more friendly and talking to her more often. You'll see if she'll like you or not.

If you meet those things above and I say give it a try, I would suggest to, give it a try. The worst thing she can say is no (and some other things, as well as expressions and so on), and if it is a small school, it could get spread around quickly. . .

Or you can give your soul to darkness and let none of the wearisome feeling bother you, and be able to push them aside with a shrug. Your heart will become cold stone as you go through life taking what you want and not giving a darn about others. Frankly I suggest you join us on the dark side. We got cookies, and ladies in leather, and ninja girls, and rock music, and a bunch of porn, and W.o.W. SEE A LOT OF THINGS! ! !

>.< . . . or you could wait 'til someone else posts who isn't semi-serious like me. . .

(Seriously, I was kinda serious . . .)

[The Nightmare]

Porn?... ...GOOD GOD, I'M NO PERVE!!!,but you go right ahead.
And the kind of darkness your talking about is the ONLY darkness I would rather not get ahold of....but thanks for the offer.(jeez no wonder your on "that side" with that attitude, giving up so early..............I'm jist jokin')
This school IS big, but she's in the cafeteria every morning.
I actually want to be weird around her (in otherwords, myself) because she's kinda weird herself from what I've heard.....I don't know why I'm telling you this.
I am friendly, in my own odd way.
But really, thanks for the advice Angel. Perhaps all I need is some encouragement, but any other advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Giant Brother]

Go. Talk to her. You don't know if it can happen until you do. Go. GO NOW! WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS POST, MAHN?

(And I mean that seriously. Wait, why are you still here? Go!)

[The Silent Orator]

Er, how would you go about approaching a girl like that anyway?

*shifty eyes*

I have the VERY same problem. I have my own little group of friends that rarely change, because I rarely approach people. Usually they approach me.

[The Nightmare]

Jeez, that's pretty much how I am........I just think it's unusual for me to just go approaching people, anyone really.
([glow=black,2,300]and I'm shy around girls I like...[/glow])
But I didn't even get the chance today.....But as soon as I do, I'M TAKING IT!!!!!
[glow=black,2,300]Unless I pass out from the pressure......[/glow]

[Silva]

Well Mr. Nightmare, the hardest part, and trust me on this, is just approaching her. Once you start talking to her it becomes a lot easier as long as you know what you're doing. If you've never really met her before, as in actually talked to her, introduce yourself first. Unless she already knows you, tell her your name and what class you're from, if necessary.

Then, start the conversation with a bit of smalltalk, which shouldn't be hard unless you're like me and you just can't stand it. You could talk about how the schoolyear's been, or the classes you've been taking, or the weather, or anything that might catch her interest.

Once you get her attention, try and strike up the conversation and get to know her, and tell her about yourself. Just ask her things about herself, anything that's not too personal. Something like what music she listens to, what TV she watches, maybe video games, what she does after school or at home, her hobbies, casual things like that. Remember to also tell her about your interests as well, so that she can know you. And listen to and respond to what she says and try to establish a two-way conversation, if you know what that is.

Also, be interested in her as a person and what she says. Compliment her often, hell, even flatter her if necessary. The thing is you need to act like your normal, casual self. Don't worry if you're a bit nervous or awkward, some girls will even think it's cute. Just be yourself, and show your interest in her (but not too much, don't creep her out with your obsessiveness).

Remember, you won't get very far on the first day, it might take a couple of days of just talking to get comfortal with each other. If you start feeling lucky, ask to see her after school. Then you can really get to know her (no, not in that way).

If she likes you, great, you might get the girl! If she doesn't, don't feel bad, realize it wasn't meant to be and move on. There should be plenty of girls at the school that you could meet up with.

[The Silent Orator]

You know, Silva... you forcefully reminded me how much I HATE small-talk...

... you know, if I wasn't so short, direct, and blunt IRL to the people who approach me, I'd probably have more girls after me (I generally despise small-talk with a passion, and occasionally when girls do it, I get irritated by it).



What kind of things do you do with small-talk? Like, what do you talk about? I mean, school, weather, life... what else? (I got a couple girls phone numbers and stuff at parties, but I never call, 'cause I never know what to say).

[Silva]

Yeah, I too despise the usage of "small-talk" and see no real point in it, but you'd need to talk about something at least, in order for the person to get used to talking to you. I guess the best things to talk about are the things you personally like. I like music, for example, so I tend to talk a lot about music with people.

[The Nightmare]

(I can see that, judging from your sig)
The odd thing is, is that the first things I'd like to say to her are very sophisticated, and I think it might freak her out. I'm not saying that me doing that is unnatural, because I can actually be very polite, like....well.......I feel like saying something like "Good day madam. May I walk you home this fine day?" or something like that, but of course I naturally open up and start acting goofy, but.........Think that would be too much?

And every time I see her, I only have like 2 minutes to talk to her, and I think it would be weird for my very first question to be "May I walk you home?", but that would be the only way I'd get to know her...........I still feel I should do it though.

[Silva]

I don't know how talking like a 19th century gentlemen would do anything, but you might actually be on to something.

If you can't find the time to meet her in school hours, try catching her after school and, very casually, just walk with her to her house, acting as if you were walking to your house and hers was right there along the way. I did this with this one girl in my sophmore year and ended up having to walk her there, then back to school, then back to my house because we lived on opposite ends.

But anyways, like I said before, act like your normal, casual self and you'll be fine.

[This One]

Hmm...Seems to be only a male view on this board...Time for a shot of estrogen!!!

Seriously, a girl's view may help; we know what freaks us out. If you do decide to walk her home, A- make sure she actually walks home (make sure she doesn't ride the bus or something) and B- don't just follow her like you're stalking her (make sure she knows you're walking WITH her, not BEHIND her). I don't think anyone would be too comfortable with that...male or female...

You boys seem to have everything else right... Unless she's one of those "Ew-get-away-I'm-too-preppy-to-be-seen-with-you" kind of girls (which I don't think she is), small talk usually works. Don't get freaked out when you talk to her. After all, she's just a person, too. If you do, don't sweat it; no biggie. Chances are, a week from then, she's not going to remember anyway. And, of course, be yourself.

Also, see if you have any friends that know her or her friends. You can use them as links to start talking to her (*disclaimer*This One does not promote using people*disclaimer*).

And now I'm all out of words of wisdom for one night. Hope all goes well for ya.

[The Nightmare]

Eck, I would never be a stalker! I only watch where she's going while she's in view.........So I've noticed that she doesn't take the bus, but I don't completely know if she walks home, and if she is, then I'm going to be in the situation Silva mentioned, and if she asks....well of coarse I'm not going to lie, I barely lie to anyone at all!
Me talking like a gentlemen is what naturally came to mind (believe it or not)
I don't think she's one of those "spoiled princess"types.
I don't know any friends who know her.
Hell, I still don't even know her name!
And lastly....I MUST CATCH HER TOMORROW, because it will be Friday, and my heart probably won't be able to put up with the suspense of.....well, you know...

[TrueBlue©]

So, a crush on a girl you've never properly spoken to, who's name you don't know, who you want to talk to before the weekend because you might otherwise go into cardiac arrest.

M'kay. Being a paranoid fighter karate girl, I would call such feelings directed towards my person unnerving and a little creepy, first. Vaguely flattering, second. Because she is probably not a paranoid fighter karate girl, go ahead and try to be friends with her. Find out stuff, like if you really like her or not.

[The Silent Orator]

I find it sad that despite my relationships, I don't know how to do this. Usually, they've asked me out. *sweatdrop badly*

Er, one thing I CAN advise (that I learned very recently) is make sure that you know what you want to talk about in your small talk before you talk to her.

Funny story.

I got a number from this girl at a party recently, and I called her up a few days afterward. It went like this:

Her: Hello?
Me: Hey!
Her: Oh, hey! What's up?
Me: Nothing much. You?
Her: Oh, nothing much really.
*silence for a few secodns*
Me: How're you feeling? (she wasn't feeling too well at the party)
Her: Oh, I'm better. Thanks for the help!
*silence for a minute or so*
Her: Well, I gotta go.
Me: *upset at himself* Okay.

And that was the last time I ever called someone on the phone that I never talked to before. I suggest finding something to talk about BEFORE you call... and no, I can't help there, because I'm about as good at small talk as I am doing homework on time (note: I'm always either late or I just don't hand it in... damn procrastination habit that I NEED to break).