Ridari Sentsu

[The Crow]

Name: Ridari Sentsu (Ridley Saints), Anhori Sentto [Unholy Saint]

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Race: Human --> Immortal

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Power Level: 6 when transformed, 4 when not

Timeline: Modern

Appearance: He is six foot three, and one-huindred and fifty pounds, and has a black eyepatch covering his scar over his right eye. He wears black pants with a red belt, and red sneakers. He also wears a red longsleeze undershirt, over a black tunic. As Anhori Sentto, he wears a set of black boots and red pants, with a black overcoat and tanktop. He wears black glasses as well.

Personality: He is a bit of a psycho, and loves a good practical joke, especially the old ones like the buckt of milk above the door.

History: *Under Edition* Ridari Sentsu had lived in Japan for 10 years, before he moved to the united states. There, he became Ridley Saints. He grew up with the military, and eventually became one of their leading scientist in the fields of biogenetics. He was working on a serum to create the ultimate soldier, and when he was threatened to be shut down for it taking so long, injected the serum into himself. He became able to transform for 3 minutes at a time, and became nearly invincible. He somehow knew how to fight, and even created a blade with the ability to change as he did, by special voice recognized commands. He hunted down the general who had by then shut him down, and showed him just how wrong he was. He killed the man, and framed him as a russian spy. He was comemeratted for the lie. He recieved three military medals, and became a hero of the country. He became a recluse for a while, and eventually reserfaced as a hero.

Powers:
Trasforms into Anhori Sentto-->
a stronger version of himself,
who gains super strength able to lift 5 tons of steel and throw it 3 miles away,
super speed exceeding mach 10,
he also has an upgraded sword.

As a normal person -->
Moves through shadows,
Can use low level telekenisis,
Can jump up to two stories high.

Weapons: Hangan Meido " Judge of Hades". Hangan Meido, or Hangan for short, is a longsword similar to that of the medieval era in western Europe. It has a lightly curved tip, and is serrated on the back, with a blunt spot for pushing against the back of it.

When transformed--> He calls out "Araizu Za Shinfuru Jadojju Avvu Za Dannddo!" or "Arrise The Sinful Judge Of The Damned!" His sword quadruples, and bonds to his arms one on each side of his fist (!o! [bad representation]). He enters a state extreme speed, and is able to execute numerous slashes in seconds. He becomes very distructive, and powerful. He can cut a titaniem steel reinforced door in seconds.

Weakness: electricity can knock him out, a sharp blow to the addams apple will knock him out, decapitating his head will kill him, immense draining of blood will kill him, and destruction of either the brain or heart can kill him.

[Ninmast]

Okay, bud, there's so many things about this that I'm just going to quote it and go through it one piece at a time.

dominigregor said:

Name: Ridari Sentsu (Ridley Saints), Anhori Sentto [Unholy Saint]

Could you come up with a less realistic name? Seriously. That's not even remotely believable. At the very LEAST, come up with a reason for why his namem is so bizarre. For instance, my character's first name is Star because her mother was one of the flower children of the 60s, and her last name is Peacefire because it was a poorly translated Native American name from her father's side. So her name is odd, but there's a reason behind it.

Age: 25

And he's a specialist in biogenetic engineering? At 25? Three words. No. Freaking. Way. That kind of research takes so long, and the schooling for it takes years. He'd hardly be into his Masters Degree.

Race: Human --> Immortal

Don't say this. Say how old he is, and then say that he looks 25, because the serum keeps him from aging. Immmortal --> BAD impression!!!

Alignment: Nuetral Good

This guy's neutral good, and yet he goes through and kills the guy who shuts him down out of revenge - getting lucky in finding out he was a spy - and then turns vigilante? I don't think so. That is, at absolute best, Chaotic Good, and at worst, Chaotic Evil. Personally, I'd put it at Chaotic Neutral. But there's no way the lunatic's Neutral Good.

Power Level: 7

Is this with or without the transformation?

Timeline: Modern

Appearance: He is six foot three, and one hundred and fifty pounds and has a black eyepatch covering his scar over his right eye. He wears black pants with a red belt, and red sneakers. He also wears a red longsleeze undershirt, over a black tunic. As Anhori Sentto, he wears a set of black boots and red pants, with a black overcoat and tanktop. He wears black glasses as well.

A 6'3" Oriental man just plain isn't going to happen, and a 6'3" Oriental man at 150 lbs. is going to be severely underweight, and a total stick, completely unsuited for combat and incapable of intimidation. I'm 148 lbs., and at 5'9", I'm just BARELY within my healthy weight limit. Also, it wouldn't hurt you to choose some different colors, and remember, people don't wear tunics in the modern era.

Personality: His personality will change accordingly to different circumstances, or my personal moods.

No. Just plain no. You CANNOT say the personality is whatever you feel like at the time. Change it. This part is mandatory.[/u][/i]

History: Under Edition Ridari Sentsu had lived in Japan for 10 years, before he moved to the united states. There, he became Ridley Saints. He grew up with the military, and eventually became one of their leading scientist in the fields of biogenetics. He was working on a serum to create the ultimate soldier, and when he was threatened to be shut down for it taking so long, injected the serum into himself. He became able to transform for 3 minutes at a time, and became nearly invincible. He somehow knew how to fight, and even created a blade with the ability to change as he did, by special voice recognized commands. He hunted down the general who had by then shut him down, and showed him just how wrong he was. He killedthe man, and revealed he was a russian spy. He was comemeratted for it. He recieved three military medals, and became a hero of the country. He became a recluse for a while, and eventually reserfaced as a hero.

He moved to America at age 10? Where are his parents? Why did he move? What is he doing over here? Why did he change his name? Why/how did he grow up with the military? How did he become one of their leading scientists when he's practically just a kid and couldn't cover all the classes and learning in that time? Why does it sound like he was working alone? Where are the other people he works/worked with? What was their say on this? How did he suddenly gain the knowledge of how to fight? Are we talking, like, kung-fu master or is it just common, basic tactics that anyone knows? Define nearly invincible. How did he create the sword? How does it change? As a Neutral Good character, how did he justify carving bloody revenge out for a program being terminated by a single person (particularly since such things are determined by a council)? Why was he recognized as a hero for slaughtering someone? And three medals for being a killer that didn't follow any protocol and had to have committed several felonies before even GETTING to the point of killing the man for revenge? Why did he go into seclusion? What did he do there? When did he come back? Why did he come back? Is he still mindlessly killing people for revenge and being lucky enough to find some dirt on them to excuse it?

Powers:
Trasforms into Anhori Sentto--> a stronger version of himself, who gains super strength, super speed, he also has an upgraded sword,
Moves through shadows,
Can use low level telekenisis,
Can jump up to two stories high.

What kind of super strength and super speed? Can he only use his other powers as Anhori Sentto? How does his sword "upgrade?"

Weapons: Hangan Meido " Judge of Hades". Hangan Meido, or Hangan for short, is a longsword similar to that of the medieval era in western Europe. It has a lightly curved tip, and is serrated on the back, with a blunt spot for pushing against the back of it.

How does he carry this sword around without getting in trouble for carrying a dangerous/concealed weapon?

Weakness: electricity can knock him out, a sharp blow to the addams apple will knock him out, decapitating his head will kill him, immense draining of blood will kill him, and destruction of either the brain or heart can kill him.

So he's normal in terms of weakness?

[The Crow]

allright.... yeah.... i should remake him. I was trying to alter him from a soul reaper i was making in another board. it did not turn out right. can you delete this thread?

[Teh Donut]

Or, we could keep the thread, and you could just edit the original post with the remade profile.

I'm glad Ninmast was able to get to this first and go through it in only mildly disrespectful and mocking tones; I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself that much.

I generally agree with everything Ninmast pointed out, except for the following:

Could you come up with a less realistic name? Seriously. That's not even remotely believable. At the very LEAST, come up with a reason for why his name is so bizarre. For instance, my character's first name is Star because her mother was one of the flower children of the 60s, and her last name is Peacefire because it was a poorly translated Native American name from her father's side. So her name is odd, but there's a reason behind it.

It doesn't have to be believable or realistic; tell me how a test tube baby created in a United States genetic program without even a hint of Oriental blood flowing in his veins would have the name "Kumano Hisoka"? In the realm of realism, none of us have the authority to judge a name's believability. But, while we're at it, let's get rid of a full 1/3 of the characters for having names that are "unrealistic". I'll be the first to admit I don't know jack when it comes to what Oriental names mean. Heck, I ripped Kumano Hisoka from a couple of Magic cards in my deck and decided, "Hm, that sounds like a good name I could use to explain why he goes by 'Koh'..."

This name is perfectly acceptable and believable by role playing standards; maybe not in reality, since I don't know who would name their child "Ridari" or even what "Sentsu Ridari" means, but we have a roleplaying world where half the people have naturally acquired the ability to move at or above the speed of a bullet, flip cars without breaking a sweat, survive a full-on hit from a speeding locomotive, shoot lasers out of their eyes, and fully heal severe wounds in minutes with little or no negative effects (sadly enough, too many of the boards' characters have all five of those powers combined...), and you dare to call a simple name "unrealistic"?

We roleplay in a world based on unrealistic circumstances. A name is of no consequence. One hundred characters with "super strength, super speed, inhuman durability, energy manipulation, and regeneration" are.

A 6'3" Oriental man just plain isn't going to happen, and a 6'3" Oriental man at 150 lbs. is going to be severely underweight, and a total stick, completely unsuited for combat and incapable of intimidation. I'm 148 lbs., and at 5'9", I'm just BARELY within my healthy weight limit. Also, it wouldn't hurt you to choose some different colors, and remember, people don't wear tunics in the modern era.

Before I get into this...yes, different colors would be welcomed. You see black and red together a lot, but people really do underestimate how well purple and gold go together...

I don't think you realize exactly how far within the "healthy weight" category you fall...as a matter of fact, you fit snuggly in the middle of the whole thing with a comfy 21.9 BMI, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. I myself, at 5'11" and 145 lbs (exact), have a 20.2 BMI. People don't often realize how incredibly fat we have all become, and how we "skinny white dudes" are actually at the weight and physique human beings were meant to be.

6'3" is not impossible for an Oriental man to attain. Unusual? Yes. Uncommon? Certainly. But if it were impossible, I'm sure Yao Ming wouldn't be playing in the NBA. 6'3" isn't as insanely tall as you think it is, and at 150lbs, his BMI would be 18.7. Underweight? No, but it's very damn close (with 18.5 being the cutoff). So yes, he'd be what most of us would call a stick, but when he comes form a part of the world where most of the people are in a state of starvation, is that really so..."unrealistic"?

[LotusBlackfire]

the worlds tallest man is actually oriental so i believe that size is not beyond belief, although he married a woman whow was less than half his size, but other than that like ive said before there are alot of problems with the character

[Ninmast]

You make good points, Donut, and I was not aware of the information concerning height and weight. Thank you for correcting me on this. The name, however, was simply a suggestion to improve the character and was in no way required. The only part that was an absolutely mandatory change was the personality.

[Teh Donut]

And like I said, I agreed with you on everything except those two subjects. You actually saved me a lot of time. ;D

Oh yea, lots of people don't realize exactly how unnaturally fat the human race has become. I think I saw somewhere that the average American male eats somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 calories a day, while the maximum required for a healthy diet is 2,000...we're a nation of consumer whores!

Anywho, meh, I'm not actually a fan of the name, it's just that I recently learned how so many Asian and Oceanic people that take on American/English names are able to derive them. But in this case, it looks like he worked backwards...started with Ridley Saints and found Sentsu Ridari, instead of the other way around.

Actually, just from what I'm seeing, I'm not sure if he's even low-tier High in power level...

[Ninmast]

That's why I raised some of the questions I did, what kind of strength and speed he has, when he has it and his other powers, etc. I'm not so sure he's that power level, either, but I want to verify.

[The Crow]

modified. and yeah, i had the english name but i wanted an asian name. and about the height and weight, watch g4's ninja warrior. they are all like that... the good ones at least.

[Ninmast]

1) I wouldn't cite G4 poking fun at ninjas as proof of anything ... Donut gave credible evidence for tall Oriental people, but just as a rule of thumb, yeah, watch your sources, bud.

2) Now, he doesn't have any personality at all. Well, he has one word: "He."

3) Okay, so he's gone from finding it out to framing him? Yeah, Chaotic EVIL. This guy is in no way good. Other than that, I still have the same problems with the history I had before.

4) Uh, yeah, nice transformation line ...

Ridari: Araizu Za Shin-

Star: *suckerpunches him and knocks him unconscious*

See? Corny and inefficient.

[Teh Donut]

I like long transformation lines. Keeps people from going SSJ4 in the middle of having their butts handed to them. Corny? On the cob with butter,sure, but it helps eliminate the "cheapest way out of a tough situation, ever" scenario.

[Ninmast]

Yeah, but he still faces the "fist to the face while he's rambling on" scenario. It was the end of Racoome, too.

[Teh Donut]

Guess he'll have to make sure to be far away from his opponent when he does it then. Something more to add to the weaknesses. ;D

Off topic: I really liked Racoome

[Ninmast]

Racoome was awesome. Most of the Ginyu Force was. But yeah, that's off-topic.

Unfortunately, since he doesn't get his superspeed until after he transforms, and is classified as a high-powered character, the odds of him keeping the distance long enough to transform is slim.

[The Crow]

He can always super jump, and yeah... so chaotic evil, fix personality after completely forgetting, oh and when did i saw he had to verbally speak to transform? but anyway, he can always super jump and use his minor telekenesis to push you away saying it....