Post by Silva on Jan 9, 2009 19:14:59 GMT -5
I'd say the Elite Author's Boards needs more authors, so here are two stories I made recently (from a creative writing course, I know, I know)
“No, you can’t have any of these mice.” The Pets-R-Us shop worker blatantly told me. “Now get out of here!”
Where did this guy gain the audacity to tell me so? All I wanted was a bag of mice used for snake food that sold for five dollars; of course I didn’t actually have a snake, I was just plotting to sneak them into the girl’s locker room after gym class.
“You can’t just outright refuse me like that.” I retorted. “I have a right to buy stuff here.”
“These mice are for snake feed only. I know for a fact you don’t have a snake.” The worker, “Rob” according to his nametag, said. This guy didn’t know anything about me, he’s just some worthless, part time, minimum wage employee with lanky arms, crooked nose, buck teeth, greasy cratered face, body odor, and hair like he has no idea what a brush is. He had no right to accuse anything about me.
“Of course I have a snake.” I responded.
“Oh really? What kind?”
“It’s a… boa… a python, yeah, that kind.”
“Those are two completely different kinds. You obviously don’t know anything about snakes; you would if you had one. Now get out of here kid. I gotta lot of work to do, don’t make me call security on you.”
And how dare he call me a kid? He was only maybe 18 or 19 years old. I’m at least four years younger than him. This guy thought he was so hot-shot, at this point I knew I had to mess up his business. My first act of mischief for the week would be not on the preppy girls in high school, but on this dweeb.
So I walked out of the store with my anger still held up, but I only walked to the side of the store. From there I peeked through the window to find the opportune moment to strike. Rob still managed to notice me and started shoeing me out, threatening once again to call on security. So then I walked over to the back of the building, and after a cigarette I peeked through the window again to see Rob with what appeared to be an important call ringing through a phone in the back room. After he awkwardly rushed to the back room to answer the phone, inadvertently closing the door behind him, I noticed that a big pile of keys, no doubt the keys to all the animal cages, was sitting right there on the counter next to the cash register.
It was at this time that I knew it was time to strike, strike like the snake that I didn’t have. I snuck into the store through the front entrance, carefully ducking below the view of the parrots who always squawked like mad when somebody walked by them, and swiped the keys by the register before sitting down by the counter so as not to be seen.
When inspecting the keys I noticed that each of them was numbered, and so were the cages. This was almost too easy. One of those parrots spotted me then, and like an alarm it went off, squawking and fluttering about. That’s when I decided to liberate the bird. I quickly went to its cage, found the keyhole to unlock, and swung open the cage to see three of the parrots flying out, hitting every other cage and item as they desperately tried to fly higher and further with their clipped wings. I ran to a corner of the store and hid near the dogs’ cages right when Rob rushed out of the back room to see his three most valuable tropical birds fluttering about, making a mess of things, with one of them approaching the exit to finally free itself of captivity.
A very shocked Rob ran to the front of the store to catch the escaping bird before it ever had a chance to. When he threw the bird back into its cage, he noticed that the keys had vanished. “Hey, where are those keys?” He pondered. I knew he was going to look my way and realize that I had caused this mess, so I made it worse by unlocking the dog cages around me. All the Labradors, pit bulls, greyhounds, Chihuahuas, and terriers charged out of their containment cells and started surrounding Rob, barking at him and jumping on him. At this point I was at the other corner of the store so as to avoid Rob catching me, snickering at all the dogs running wild in the store, knocking everything down and seeing Rob trying so hard to set them back up.
“Ok, somebody did this. Show yourself! Now!” Rob demanded.
“Ha ha!” I started unlocking more dog cages. “Release the hounds!”
“You!” Rob shouted when he realized it was me. “You’re gonna get it now, kid!”
But it was Rob who got a stampede of larger dogs, including one St. Bernard. Being too preoccupied with the raging dogs and the general chaos of the whole store, I had one more chance to really demolish the little pet store. I started going up to the cat cages and unlocking each and every one of them, releasing them to join the herd of dogs. This was my coup de gras, as the mixture of cats and dogs was guaranteed to unleash absolute havoc upon the poor little store. The feuds between various conflicting animals, the shattering and crashing of store items, and the panic of still caged animals all created a psychotic symphony of disarray. Even the iguana, who was usually laid back, was frightened by the commotion.
All of a sudden Rob approached me instead of trying to contain the mess, and without an animal blocking his path he was about to take me down once and for all. It was then that I opened a cage containing a very fidgety cat. I grabbed the cat by its collar, plucked it out of its cage, and threw it straight at the pet store worker.
“No, not Snuggles!” Rob cried as the furious cat whizzed through the air, hissing and screeching, right towards Rob’s face. The cat hit his target and screamed and started clawing away, making Rob even uglier than before. Once Snuggles fell to Rob’s waistline, the St. Bernard noticed and joined in, tacking Rob like a football player. The two proceeded to attack each other right on top of Rob.
Knowing that this was all the damaged I needed to make. I swiftly grabbed an empty bag, snagged a few rats, and sprinted out of the pet store, laughing as the whole place looked like it was about to collapse. After a few minutes I was winded from running so hard and it appeared I was in the clear. I checked the bag to see that I snatched four pretty big rats, which was more than perfect for my next attack. However, I turned around and saw a dog, one of the purebred corgis from the pet store, had been following me. Cool, I though to myself, a free dog, I’ll just say to Mom that it followed me home and ask if I can keep it. I just have to remove this collar here.
The digital clock on his cell phone glowed with the time 11:00 PM, signaling that it was time for Joe to finally leave his workplace at the Starbucks on 6th Ave. He had made sure to cleanup the entire store and prepared everything for closing so that he could leave early for once. The cups and dishes were clean, the blenders and kettles and jugs were stacked away, and all the ground coffees of various exotic flavors were scooped into bags and tucked away in the freezer. Samantha, the little brown haired teenage girl on the cash register, was counting the tips and Mark, the barista and manager, approached Joe with keys in hand.
“Alright…” Mark said. “Just stack up all the chairs outside and we can leave early for once.”
Joe felt good about that statement, until he stood beyond the counter into the “lounge area” where the customers drank their lattes to see three young college kids were still sitting there in the corner at a table covered in empty paper cups.
A bit frustrated, Joe approached them with a stern look. “Hey you guys, you gotta get outta here. We’re closed now.”
The three of them, all donning the most pretentiously hipster attire, just looked at him as one of them smiled. “Yo can we just get another espresso?” One of them, wearing a grayish beanie cap with thick rimmed sunglasses and a bright blue jacket over a “classic” t-shirt, said.
“Actually no, we just closed.” Joe replied. “All of you gotta get out now, ‘cause we’re about to lock up.”
The second hipster, the one with highlights in his hair and clothes that looked like he just walked out of a Jackson Pollock painting, looked at Joe with a hand extended and fingers moving in a “come here” motion. “Hey c’mon man, we just want one more, ok?”
“Yeah Joe,” The third one, with the pink shutter shades that Kanye West so popularized, said. “We just want a cup of joe.” He then snickered thinking he was so clever, but Joe just wanted to choke him, more so than the other two at least.
Instead, he walked back past the counter to alert Mark of the three lingering customers. “Those three guys over there won’t leave.” He told mark. “Should I just yell at them or should we go straight to calling security?”
“Nah Joe, just chill here, I’ll handle it.” Mark answered, and he walked out to approach the three, with Joe following behind him after collecting his tips from Samantha.
“Hey guys.” Mark said to the three. “We’re closing this place for the night, you all are gonna have to go somewhere else now.”
“Ok, but can we just get, like, one more espresso, on the go maybe?” The blue jacketed one said.
“We just shut everything off.” Joe replied. “We can’t make anything else. You’re not gettin’ anything else here. Just get out, now!”
“Relax Joe.” Mark said. He then turned back to the hipsters. “All we got are those double shot cans. Is that ok with you guys?”
“Yeah, sure.” They all said.
“Joe, go grab three of those double shot espresso cans from the back.” This command from Mark made Joe as steamed as a fresh cappuccino. Grinding his teeth, he reluctantly went and fetched three cans.
“The cash register’s shut down. I saw Samantha just left, how are they gonna pay for these?” Joe asked.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.” Mark grabbed the cans from Joe and handed them to his loyal customers “So will you guys just go outside now?”
“But it’s too cold to be drinking these outside, man.” The hipster drenched in bright colors and highlights said.
“Ok, whatever then.” Mark said, and at that point Joe grabbed his hat, threw it at the cash register and stomped angrily towards the counter. Mark followed him to lead him to the back room. “Hey, what’s the big deal here?” Mark asked.
“Those guys,” Joe started. “Those annoying ass hipsters have been here all day. All god dammed day, from 5:30, I counted. They just sit there and keep ordering coffee or muffins or whatever the hell they feel like having, and they just stay there to talk about stupid pretentious bullshit, and I’m so sick of it. I just wanted to go home early for once in a lifetime, but those motherfuckers just won’t get the fuck outta here. And you’re giving them free drinks? Come on man!”
“You’ve had a little too much coffee, Joe.” Mark said.
“I haven’t had any coffee. I’ve been here since two. I’m exhausted, I’d rather just go to bed right now.”
“You sound more anxious than anything.”
“I just wanna stop working.”
“You did stop working, you clocked out, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“So you stopped working. Just chill out now.”
Joe leaned up against the freezer, looking down at his sneakers. He then looked at his cell phone to see the time was 11:05. He sighed in irritation.
“Joe, you’re taking things way too seriously.” Mark said. “Can’t you just stop and, you know, look around?”
Joe moved his eyes from side to side, to look at the grimy walls, the unopened boxes, and those hipsters in the distance discussing some obscure band he didn’t care about. “I don’t see anything.”
“Well you’re not looking. You’ve just rushed an entire shift and a half, sure, but do you ever feel like you’re here, you know what I mean?”
Joe glanced over at the desk behind Mark and noticed a small plastic figure in black standing on top of it, wielding a tiny sword in a fancy pose.
“Hmm, didn’t see that little guy on the desk there before.” Joe stated.
“Oh yeah, that thing. That’s my plastic ninja, made him just the other day.” Mark responded
“You make little toys like that?”
“Kind of, I made it for an arts class.”
“Arts class?”
“Yeah, arts and crafts. Just to do stuff in my spare time. You do know what spare time is, right?”
“I don’t need you to… hey…” Joe spotted a package of a special java blend on the shelf. “I was looking for that earlier.”
“Well now you found it.” Mark said. “You’re at your house all the time, so you recognize everything there. But what about other places? Just slow down a bit, everything will reach you soon.”
Just then, the bells rang and the door opened and closed. Their last customers had finally left, and Joe let out a “Finally.”
“You know you’re still leaving early, right?” Mark asked. The time was only 11:08.
“Yeah, but I wanted to leave earlier” Joe replied as he quickly stacked up all the chairs.
“Oh well.” Mark went and cleaned up the trash left on the table that the hipsters were at and put it in the garbage can near the door, where Joe almost flew out of.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Joe.” Mark said as he locked the front door on his way out.
“I don’t work tomorrow.” Joe said back before he got in his car.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” Mark strolled in ambience down the street, humming along until he started singing something under his breath. “It doesn’t matter to me. None of this matters to me. I don’t see nothing at all, that would concern me. It’s all nothing to me, it’s just nothing to me. It’s nothing at all. Nothing at all…” A line from a song by one of his newly favorite bands: Birds Against The Gale.
Release The Hounds!
“No, you can’t have any of these mice.” The Pets-R-Us shop worker blatantly told me. “Now get out of here!”
Where did this guy gain the audacity to tell me so? All I wanted was a bag of mice used for snake food that sold for five dollars; of course I didn’t actually have a snake, I was just plotting to sneak them into the girl’s locker room after gym class.
“You can’t just outright refuse me like that.” I retorted. “I have a right to buy stuff here.”
“These mice are for snake feed only. I know for a fact you don’t have a snake.” The worker, “Rob” according to his nametag, said. This guy didn’t know anything about me, he’s just some worthless, part time, minimum wage employee with lanky arms, crooked nose, buck teeth, greasy cratered face, body odor, and hair like he has no idea what a brush is. He had no right to accuse anything about me.
“Of course I have a snake.” I responded.
“Oh really? What kind?”
“It’s a… boa… a python, yeah, that kind.”
“Those are two completely different kinds. You obviously don’t know anything about snakes; you would if you had one. Now get out of here kid. I gotta lot of work to do, don’t make me call security on you.”
And how dare he call me a kid? He was only maybe 18 or 19 years old. I’m at least four years younger than him. This guy thought he was so hot-shot, at this point I knew I had to mess up his business. My first act of mischief for the week would be not on the preppy girls in high school, but on this dweeb.
So I walked out of the store with my anger still held up, but I only walked to the side of the store. From there I peeked through the window to find the opportune moment to strike. Rob still managed to notice me and started shoeing me out, threatening once again to call on security. So then I walked over to the back of the building, and after a cigarette I peeked through the window again to see Rob with what appeared to be an important call ringing through a phone in the back room. After he awkwardly rushed to the back room to answer the phone, inadvertently closing the door behind him, I noticed that a big pile of keys, no doubt the keys to all the animal cages, was sitting right there on the counter next to the cash register.
It was at this time that I knew it was time to strike, strike like the snake that I didn’t have. I snuck into the store through the front entrance, carefully ducking below the view of the parrots who always squawked like mad when somebody walked by them, and swiped the keys by the register before sitting down by the counter so as not to be seen.
When inspecting the keys I noticed that each of them was numbered, and so were the cages. This was almost too easy. One of those parrots spotted me then, and like an alarm it went off, squawking and fluttering about. That’s when I decided to liberate the bird. I quickly went to its cage, found the keyhole to unlock, and swung open the cage to see three of the parrots flying out, hitting every other cage and item as they desperately tried to fly higher and further with their clipped wings. I ran to a corner of the store and hid near the dogs’ cages right when Rob rushed out of the back room to see his three most valuable tropical birds fluttering about, making a mess of things, with one of them approaching the exit to finally free itself of captivity.
A very shocked Rob ran to the front of the store to catch the escaping bird before it ever had a chance to. When he threw the bird back into its cage, he noticed that the keys had vanished. “Hey, where are those keys?” He pondered. I knew he was going to look my way and realize that I had caused this mess, so I made it worse by unlocking the dog cages around me. All the Labradors, pit bulls, greyhounds, Chihuahuas, and terriers charged out of their containment cells and started surrounding Rob, barking at him and jumping on him. At this point I was at the other corner of the store so as to avoid Rob catching me, snickering at all the dogs running wild in the store, knocking everything down and seeing Rob trying so hard to set them back up.
“Ok, somebody did this. Show yourself! Now!” Rob demanded.
“Ha ha!” I started unlocking more dog cages. “Release the hounds!”
“You!” Rob shouted when he realized it was me. “You’re gonna get it now, kid!”
But it was Rob who got a stampede of larger dogs, including one St. Bernard. Being too preoccupied with the raging dogs and the general chaos of the whole store, I had one more chance to really demolish the little pet store. I started going up to the cat cages and unlocking each and every one of them, releasing them to join the herd of dogs. This was my coup de gras, as the mixture of cats and dogs was guaranteed to unleash absolute havoc upon the poor little store. The feuds between various conflicting animals, the shattering and crashing of store items, and the panic of still caged animals all created a psychotic symphony of disarray. Even the iguana, who was usually laid back, was frightened by the commotion.
All of a sudden Rob approached me instead of trying to contain the mess, and without an animal blocking his path he was about to take me down once and for all. It was then that I opened a cage containing a very fidgety cat. I grabbed the cat by its collar, plucked it out of its cage, and threw it straight at the pet store worker.
“No, not Snuggles!” Rob cried as the furious cat whizzed through the air, hissing and screeching, right towards Rob’s face. The cat hit his target and screamed and started clawing away, making Rob even uglier than before. Once Snuggles fell to Rob’s waistline, the St. Bernard noticed and joined in, tacking Rob like a football player. The two proceeded to attack each other right on top of Rob.
Knowing that this was all the damaged I needed to make. I swiftly grabbed an empty bag, snagged a few rats, and sprinted out of the pet store, laughing as the whole place looked like it was about to collapse. After a few minutes I was winded from running so hard and it appeared I was in the clear. I checked the bag to see that I snatched four pretty big rats, which was more than perfect for my next attack. However, I turned around and saw a dog, one of the purebred corgis from the pet store, had been following me. Cool, I though to myself, a free dog, I’ll just say to Mom that it followed me home and ask if I can keep it. I just have to remove this collar here.
A Cup of Joe
The digital clock on his cell phone glowed with the time 11:00 PM, signaling that it was time for Joe to finally leave his workplace at the Starbucks on 6th Ave. He had made sure to cleanup the entire store and prepared everything for closing so that he could leave early for once. The cups and dishes were clean, the blenders and kettles and jugs were stacked away, and all the ground coffees of various exotic flavors were scooped into bags and tucked away in the freezer. Samantha, the little brown haired teenage girl on the cash register, was counting the tips and Mark, the barista and manager, approached Joe with keys in hand.
“Alright…” Mark said. “Just stack up all the chairs outside and we can leave early for once.”
Joe felt good about that statement, until he stood beyond the counter into the “lounge area” where the customers drank their lattes to see three young college kids were still sitting there in the corner at a table covered in empty paper cups.
A bit frustrated, Joe approached them with a stern look. “Hey you guys, you gotta get outta here. We’re closed now.”
The three of them, all donning the most pretentiously hipster attire, just looked at him as one of them smiled. “Yo can we just get another espresso?” One of them, wearing a grayish beanie cap with thick rimmed sunglasses and a bright blue jacket over a “classic” t-shirt, said.
“Actually no, we just closed.” Joe replied. “All of you gotta get out now, ‘cause we’re about to lock up.”
The second hipster, the one with highlights in his hair and clothes that looked like he just walked out of a Jackson Pollock painting, looked at Joe with a hand extended and fingers moving in a “come here” motion. “Hey c’mon man, we just want one more, ok?”
“Yeah Joe,” The third one, with the pink shutter shades that Kanye West so popularized, said. “We just want a cup of joe.” He then snickered thinking he was so clever, but Joe just wanted to choke him, more so than the other two at least.
Instead, he walked back past the counter to alert Mark of the three lingering customers. “Those three guys over there won’t leave.” He told mark. “Should I just yell at them or should we go straight to calling security?”
“Nah Joe, just chill here, I’ll handle it.” Mark answered, and he walked out to approach the three, with Joe following behind him after collecting his tips from Samantha.
“Hey guys.” Mark said to the three. “We’re closing this place for the night, you all are gonna have to go somewhere else now.”
“Ok, but can we just get, like, one more espresso, on the go maybe?” The blue jacketed one said.
“We just shut everything off.” Joe replied. “We can’t make anything else. You’re not gettin’ anything else here. Just get out, now!”
“Relax Joe.” Mark said. He then turned back to the hipsters. “All we got are those double shot cans. Is that ok with you guys?”
“Yeah, sure.” They all said.
“Joe, go grab three of those double shot espresso cans from the back.” This command from Mark made Joe as steamed as a fresh cappuccino. Grinding his teeth, he reluctantly went and fetched three cans.
“The cash register’s shut down. I saw Samantha just left, how are they gonna pay for these?” Joe asked.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.” Mark grabbed the cans from Joe and handed them to his loyal customers “So will you guys just go outside now?”
“But it’s too cold to be drinking these outside, man.” The hipster drenched in bright colors and highlights said.
“Ok, whatever then.” Mark said, and at that point Joe grabbed his hat, threw it at the cash register and stomped angrily towards the counter. Mark followed him to lead him to the back room. “Hey, what’s the big deal here?” Mark asked.
“Those guys,” Joe started. “Those annoying ass hipsters have been here all day. All god dammed day, from 5:30, I counted. They just sit there and keep ordering coffee or muffins or whatever the hell they feel like having, and they just stay there to talk about stupid pretentious bullshit, and I’m so sick of it. I just wanted to go home early for once in a lifetime, but those motherfuckers just won’t get the fuck outta here. And you’re giving them free drinks? Come on man!”
“You’ve had a little too much coffee, Joe.” Mark said.
“I haven’t had any coffee. I’ve been here since two. I’m exhausted, I’d rather just go to bed right now.”
“You sound more anxious than anything.”
“I just wanna stop working.”
“You did stop working, you clocked out, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“So you stopped working. Just chill out now.”
Joe leaned up against the freezer, looking down at his sneakers. He then looked at his cell phone to see the time was 11:05. He sighed in irritation.
“Joe, you’re taking things way too seriously.” Mark said. “Can’t you just stop and, you know, look around?”
Joe moved his eyes from side to side, to look at the grimy walls, the unopened boxes, and those hipsters in the distance discussing some obscure band he didn’t care about. “I don’t see anything.”
“Well you’re not looking. You’ve just rushed an entire shift and a half, sure, but do you ever feel like you’re here, you know what I mean?”
Joe glanced over at the desk behind Mark and noticed a small plastic figure in black standing on top of it, wielding a tiny sword in a fancy pose.
“Hmm, didn’t see that little guy on the desk there before.” Joe stated.
“Oh yeah, that thing. That’s my plastic ninja, made him just the other day.” Mark responded
“You make little toys like that?”
“Kind of, I made it for an arts class.”
“Arts class?”
“Yeah, arts and crafts. Just to do stuff in my spare time. You do know what spare time is, right?”
“I don’t need you to… hey…” Joe spotted a package of a special java blend on the shelf. “I was looking for that earlier.”
“Well now you found it.” Mark said. “You’re at your house all the time, so you recognize everything there. But what about other places? Just slow down a bit, everything will reach you soon.”
Just then, the bells rang and the door opened and closed. Their last customers had finally left, and Joe let out a “Finally.”
“You know you’re still leaving early, right?” Mark asked. The time was only 11:08.
“Yeah, but I wanted to leave earlier” Joe replied as he quickly stacked up all the chairs.
“Oh well.” Mark went and cleaned up the trash left on the table that the hipsters were at and put it in the garbage can near the door, where Joe almost flew out of.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Joe.” Mark said as he locked the front door on his way out.
“I don’t work tomorrow.” Joe said back before he got in his car.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” Mark strolled in ambience down the street, humming along until he started singing something under his breath. “It doesn’t matter to me. None of this matters to me. I don’t see nothing at all, that would concern me. It’s all nothing to me, it’s just nothing to me. It’s nothing at all. Nothing at all…” A line from a song by one of his newly favorite bands: Birds Against The Gale.
