Post by Teh Donut on Dec 5, 2009 21:21:36 GMT -5
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replase the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new speling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are posible. Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year peopl vil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" viz "z" and "w" viz "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl vriten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and evrivun vil find it eazy too understand each oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly kom tru. Efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replase the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new speling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are posible. Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year peopl vil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" viz "z" and "w" viz "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl vriten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and evrivun vil find it eazy too understand each oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly kom tru. Efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
