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Post by Ninmast on Aug 11, 2008 13:40:28 GMT -5
It sounded like a weed eater, almost, as the alien approached the garden just a block down, and greenery was shooting up in the air like some sort of devil was tearing through whatever laid on the other side of the fence. As he stepped through the gate, a partial, but very ripe tomato shot toward his face, covering the approach of two pointy jalepeno peppers and a long carrot.
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Terethin
Full Member
The dragon of the darkness flame will consume you.
Posts: 380
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Post by Terethin on Aug 11, 2008 15:55:52 GMT -5
Suki frowns as he walks away and yells to him, "Your the one who knocked the fence on me you idiot."
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 11, 2008 16:25:22 GMT -5
The alien didn't have time to react to the tomato. It struck him dead-on, splattering his face and clothes with... ugh...
And then the carrot and the jalapeños, but thank some deity he'd closed his mouth and eyes and his head was turned in disgust. Still.
He smeared most of the mess away on his sleeve, knowing this probably wasn't the best turf.
"Heeere, kitty, kitty..." Oh well. The jagged shadow of a wounded vine straightened out and solidified as he bent, as if to pick it up. When he did, it was a long spear that he aimed at the roving heart of the tornado and hurled.
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Post by Ninmast on Aug 11, 2008 16:28:15 GMT -5
But when he had wiped off the tomato to get his first glance at what was within, there was no tornado, no devil, no horrific beast of destruction. There was only Jack, laying calmly as he bathed one leg, but no sign of dirt anywhere on him, laying in the middle of what was once a garden and now resembled a national disaster area.
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 11, 2008 16:33:09 GMT -5
(Haaaah.)
Lucubro snarled, tasting the juice of the acidic berry on his lips as it dribbled past his fangs. "Demon," he reiterated venomously before hurling the shadow spear toward the unholy beast.
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Post by Ninmast on Aug 11, 2008 17:01:09 GMT -5
As he took the launching step, his foot came down on a potato, which promptly rolled out from under him, sending him backwards and down on his back, the spear flying up into the air before its tip weighted it back down so it was coming point first back down at him.
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 12, 2008 2:35:03 GMT -5
One shocked glance from the alien dissipated the weapon, but now he was on his back, staining his jacket further on murdered vegetation.
Lucubro sat up like a zombie and brought a corded hand back, an onyx dagger flowing out between his fingers. Took aim.
He struck forward and sent the ill-intended blade flying at Jack, certain it wouldn't kill the unholy cat, but...
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Post by Ninmast on Aug 12, 2008 13:16:40 GMT -5
... but the knife missed, anyway, instead clipping a rake that was leaning up against the fence. The rake fell sideways and knocked a shelf, bumping an ornamental, and very heavy, giant marble over and sending it rolling. It rolled off the shelf and down a wooden plank, only to ramp off of the large rock at the base, sending it skipping into the air with a very suspicious target area ...
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Terethin
Full Member
The dragon of the darkness flame will consume you.
Posts: 380
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Post by Terethin on Aug 12, 2008 17:31:11 GMT -5
Suki watches the events unfold trying her best not to laugh.
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 14, 2008 12:33:04 GMT -5
Lucubro followed it with his onyx eyes. Somewhere in his alien hearts, he knew.
And scrambled sideways, out of the orb's path as it sailed by and thudded into the earth, probably opening a small fault line where his rear had just been.
The witch chuckled nervously, and around the giant marble something black wrapped and formed, shaping itself up into an oversized, vaguely piratey cannon.
Lucubro grinned as the shadow-fuse burned down with imaginary flames. BOOOOM!
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Post by Ninmast on Aug 14, 2008 12:39:52 GMT -5
Or perhaps it was his intention, but even though he moved, it still looked like it was going to land on him. As a result, he was forced to keep moving and keep moving, until he was forced into a full-out sprint. The giant marble landed on the fence next to him and continued its chance pursuit, rolling with an incredibly lucky balance right after him without losing any of its deadly momentum.
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 14, 2008 13:07:50 GMT -5
Lucubro threw snakes and bats at it, but his vermin did nothing. After a few seconds of full-on sprinting, he pulled a small firearm from his side, a little silver blaster. With one hand he aimed and fired off a few blue shots, hoping to send it off course or just explode the thing.
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Post by Ninmast on Aug 14, 2008 13:45:06 GMT -5
The blasts of energy missed the orb entirely, but struck a telephone pole, which fell forward, knocking another one over and across the path ahead of him, the live power lines dancing about like dangerously electrified serpents.
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Terethin
Full Member
The dragon of the darkness flame will consume you.
Posts: 380
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Post by Terethin on Aug 14, 2008 22:34:30 GMT -5
Now unable to stop herself, Suki falls to ground laughing hysterically.
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Post by TrueBlue© on Aug 16, 2008 23:02:03 GMT -5
Oh, right, hilarious. Too bad slapstick went out of style in the 1920's and the alien was actually facing mortal danger.
He had a choice now, as the sun beat down, freak bowling ball accident or near-certain electrocution. High overhead Sol blazed at its zenith, chasing Lucubro's shadows away. He wasn't a fan of blunt trauma, and perhaps he'd never given shock therapy a real chance.
Yeah, this was so beyond not funny.
In those split seconds he had, running as fast as he could, oh, wow, did his foot hurt, he decided to try and jump the pole, snapping, twisting lines and all. On three. Oh, god, ow. He gasped in a last, valiant breath and leaped...
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